Demotivation...

In general, today I played a little for my marathon. The streak of failures does not let me go, even when playing on 6 tables, I actively roll down 😐 I Don't know what is happening, maybe I started playing badly, or maybe it's some kind of downstreak, I can't understand. Every time it gets harder, this has never happened 2 me before, at the beginning of the year, I passed this limit, without any difficulties, and now I have very negative profit, it strongly demotivates me. I will have 2 take a break in this marathon, alas...

Of course, this makes me weaker, I did not expect such a result. The week is not over yet, and I'm already very tired, this is some complete bullshit. I can't even win coinflips( every now and then, my opponents catch outs and see runner runners. Maybe I'm panicking or I've developed paranoia, but it's really happening( it was a shitty idea with the marathon, I probably wasn't really ready for it, it's terrible, I'm very ashamed.

Today I had enough patience for 500+ hands, just look at this result, it's some kind of crap:

My tables are played by opponents who make me mad, I fall into tilt because of them, but of course, they play poorly, they can be defeated:

But when this happens, it seems unbearable! I want 2 send everything 2 hell! I'm very upset! 😡

Where can I find the strength 2 go all this shit? Probably, then I passed this limit on the condition that I would not return 2 it, my friends told me correctly that I was in a hurry with the marathon, and I should have been engaged in completely different games... This has happened and it is true. I'm a loser. Here r my results for 6 days, this is not what I expected:

The result shows that this is most likely a downstreak, and it should not be so. Why I do all this? 😒 Yes, I understood that it would be difficult, but not in this way. I was mentally tired, I wanted 2 cheer myself up with this, but it turned out the opposite( I do not know how 2 get along with what I want. I can't even tell U how much I want 2 take a break from all this, it really pisses me off...

I will continue 2 play, but in my usual schedule, I need 2 recover. I didn't make it through this marathon. I am very sorry 😐